I hate writing on this

I hate writing on this,
I remember to write on this,
When I am in pain...
I am in pain, when you are not there...
What I don't understand is,
if i can bear it up and stay all these five years,
why couldn't you just see as it is?
What did I do to make you annoy?

Why am I sleepless when I should sleep?
Why am I not happy when I am not?
I just simply need a big change...
I am scared to move in to anything coz I am not sure about you or me!!!